The Bradys: an American Family
by Synthiacat
Summary: The viewpoint of the Brady's...if they were normal
1. Greg

The Brady Bunch.more to come.maybe.my first fic, so be kind, I didn't try hard  
  
"GREG!" screamed Mrs. Brady from her room.  
  
"What do you want 'Mom,'" said Greg in a sarcastic tone. That spring, there had been many problems in their house. Greg had just turned 17 and was ready to be out on his own. He was tired of hearing about how great his younger sister, Marcia, was.  
  
"What do you think I want? I just got a call from Mrs. Carrington. You're in big trouble. GET UP HERE NOW!" From the tone of her voice, the oldest Brady son knew he was going to have a serious punishment.  
  
The previous night he had had some "fun" with Janice Carrington. He asked her to prom and she reacted as though he asked her to marry him. Greg's hormones were pretty strong and Janice smelt so good. Thinking about it again, he smiled as he climbed the stairs to Mr. and Mrs. Brady's room.  
  
"What did you do this time, Greg?" Marcia was getting to be a stuck up slut nowadays. Greg often wondered why she even bothered putting on clothes. She had slept with at least 15 guys since she turned 15.  
  
"Nothing you haven't done," was his only reply to her query.  
  
As Greg entered the bedroom, he noticed his father and mother looking very upset. "What crawled up your butts?"  
  
"Young man, we will not stand for that kind of language spoken in this house," sternly stated Mr. Brady. "Would you like to tell us exactly what happened between you and that young Miss Carrington last night?"  
  
"Sure, if you like porn, of course. Judging by your underwear drawer, I would guess that you do."  
  
"GREG!" gasped Mrs. Brady.  
  
"What Mom? Have you never heard of pornography before? I'm surprised you haven't stumbled upon dad's healthy supply of Playboys yet."  
  
"Now son, as much as I love you, you're making it difficult to like you," Mr. Brady always tried to be kind and understanding.  
  
"Alright, Dad. That's.good to know. Anyway, Mom, what did you want?"  
  
"As you know, I talked to Mrs. Carrington today. She said that her daughter didn't get home until 11:30 last night."  
  
"11:30? She was upset at her being home at 11:30?! Most of my friends, and her friends for that matter, don't get home at all." Greg was honest. A new fad had entered his school of staying out all weekend and never telling your parents where you're going. "Why am I getting in trouble for her lack of tactfulness to be sure to get home before curfew?"  
  
"Mrs. Carrington said that Janice would've been home earlier if she hadn't be 'talking' to you. It was your responsibility to see that she got home."  
  
"B.S." said Greg under his breath. "She had a watch on and never told me to take her home any earlier that what I did."  
  
"Well, Gregory. I don't think you should be going to prom."  
  
"OK, that's fine with me." Greg hated to dance and the only reason he asked Janice to prom was so that he would have a chance of getting some action. Since he had gotten plenty the previous night, he was satisfied with not being able to go to prom. Now he even had an excuse to break up with Janice. A smiled crept upon his face.  
  
"I'm glad you're in a mood to smile. If we receive any more phone calls like this, you will be grounded." Mrs. Brady was obviously in a bad mood. Even Mr. Brady could tell. He knew he wasn't going to get any tonight.  
  
This story will be continued with Mr. Brady's point of view. 


	2. Mike

"Sweetheart, it's been 2 days since we've, umm, you know, made love. Can't we forgive Greg yet?" Mike Brady was beginning to feel lonely. Even when he was with his wife, he felt alone. Their marriage was beginning to grow weak. As he was entering his late 40's, Mr. Brady was starting to feel old.  
  
"I can't talk about this right now. I don't want to sleep with you right now. Greg deserves everything that's coming to him." Mrs. Brady was beginning to be more of a mother than a wife to Mike. He missed the young and spunky girl he married just a few years before.  
  
"Alright, I think I'm going to head to work. I'll see you when I get home." Mike felt better when he went to work. He got respect there. At home, the kids talked to him only when they wanted something or they were in trouble.  
  
"Good afternoon, Mr. Brady," chimed Susie, his assistant. "How are you today?"  
  
"I'm doing just fine. I would be better if it would stop raining." Mr. Brady never liked the rain. His first wife died after her car was washed away when she tried to cross a water-covered road. Their young son was with her, but he was lost in the flood.  
  
"Well, the weatherman said it might stop tomorrow. Until then all we can do is pack an umbrella and wear a raincoat." Susie always made Mike feel better. She was a few years older than Greg and Mr. Brady always hoped that they would get along. They met once at a Christmas party, but Greg wasn't very interested.  
  
"You're right, Suz. I wish my daughters would be as smart and prepared as you." Mike began to blush after he said this. His daughters embarrassed him. All of them had some flaw that the community wouldn't ignore.  
  
For his oldest, Marcia, it was her lack of morals. Mr. Brady's previous assistant was fired because he had slept with Marcia. She enjoyed making people suffer. He often though she would sleep with the dog if she thought it would make the cat jealous.  
  
Jan was a manic-depressive person. She had tried to kill herself a few times. The most recent attempt was just last month. She slit her wrists with a broken razor blade. Mike was scared for Jan more that the other girls. She was special but didn't know what to make of her. She scared him too. She was distant and didn't like talking much. It was rumored that she had fallen in love with a boy she had met in Hawaii.  
  
Cindy, the baby of the family, was a troublemaker. She couldn't stand to be ignored so would do anything for attention. She once put a laxative in her teacher's coffee. A three-day suspension was her only punishment. The day after her suspension was over, she picked a fight with a girl a could years older than her. She came home with a black eye and a bruised reputation that day.  
  
"Your daughters are just fine as they are, Mr. Brady." They both knew it was a lie.  
  
Mike worked his butt off that day trying to get all of his jobs done. He was an architect and had 5 people trying to get him to design their buildings. In 8 straight hours of drawing and calculating, he got 2 of them done.  
  
"I think I'm going to head home now, Susie. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Goodbye, Mr. Brady."  
  
At home all Mike could do was think about how happy everyone was when he had first married Mrs. Brady. All their problems were simple and could easily be fixed. What happened? He often asked himself.  
  
"Dad, can I ask you a question?" Jan needed some help from the only father she knew. Her biological father had been lost in a boating accident.  
  
"Of course you can, Jan. Hehe, that rhymed."  
  
"Yes, it did. There's a boy at school that I like but I don't know if he likes me back. How do I know if a guy likes me?"  
  
Mike thought a few moments about her question. Jan often had boy troubles. "Is he nice to you? Does he act like he wants to be around you?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Well, Jan, I think he likes you. If he's a gentleman he'll tell you soon enough. Maybe you should tell him you like him first. He might be a bit shy."  
  
"Thanks Daddy. I really appreciate it." She really did. She was glad to have someone she could talk to. Jan was awkward and knew it. "I think I'll call that boy now and tell him I like him. I hope I get good news."  
  
Jan walked to the phone and began to dial. "Hello?" Asked the voice on the other side of the line.  
  
"What? I didn't dial a number yet."  
  
"JAN! I'M ON THE PHONE! GET OFF!" Marcia was really a jerk to Jan.  
  
"One of these days I'll make Marcia pay for all the pain she has caused me."  
  
The story continues in Jan's point of view. 


	3. Jan

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Jan decided to take a walk to get her mind off of Marcia and the rest of her family.  As she entered the park through the ajar gate, something caught her eye.  Someone was sitting on the swing alone.

"Hey," she said louder volume than appealed to her as she replayed her voice in her head.  The lone wolf looked up and Jan saw that is was Jake Hammond.  She thought it coincidental that she had just spoken to her dad about him.

He would never take the place of George Glass, but she knew he was an acceptable substitute.

"Hi.  What's going on?  Just hanging around a kiddie park at 9?  How very strange."

"No, I'm not.  I was just taking a walk, but what are you doing?  You're the one sitting _alone _in a kiddie park at 9."

"Oh Jan, I just had a feeling you would show up," Jake said in a mock seductive tone.

"I'm sure you did, you goof-ball."

"Quit teasing.  You're starting to sound like your sister, and that's definitely a bad thing."

"You would know all about the teasings of Marcia.  She sure did play you well after I let slip that I had a crush on you."  With this Jan let out a squeak and covered her mouth.

"Wait, wait, wait!  That's why she hit on me?"  Then Jake realized what Jan had said.  "You have a crush on me?"

"Umm."

"Well, do you?  It's ok if you do.  I like you too."

Jan let out another squeak and put her arms around Jake's neck.  "Really?  Do you really like me?"

Jake nodded and kissed Jan's cheek.  "I've liked you since that time in chemistry when you accidentally poured iodine on my hand."

"Yeah, that was an accident."  Jan looked down as she lowered her arms, shocked that she had _touched_ Jake Hammond.

"It was fate.  For the rest of the day, I kept looking at my hand and thinking about you."

"Oh, Jake."  Jan couldn't hold it in any more.  She wanted to kiss him so badly.  As she was considering leaning in for one, he read her mind and pressed his lips gently to her's.

Jan gasped and withdrew.  She stared into his dark brown and eyes and said "We can't do this on a kiddie play ground."

"I know, but we can't exactly do it at school, so we might as well relieve some of our feelings now."

"I don't think I'm ready for all of that."

_Shut up, Jan!  You could get the boy of your dreams._

_He probably just wants to hurt me.  Everyone wants to hurt me.  I have to get out of here._

_No!  Just stay with him.  He's the answer to your prayers!_

"I'm sorry, Jake.  I have to go.  Maybe I'll see you at school."

"Wait, where are you going?"  Jake looked at her with puppy dog eyes.  "I just want to be with you."

"Who's teasing who now?  You just want to hurt me!"  This sudden outburst scared Jake.  Jan was beginning to cry.  She couldn't stand him staring at her like she was a freak.  She turned and ran as fast as she could.

"Jan, quit being a freak!"  Marcia was sitting outside, no doubt waiting for someone to pick her up, when Jan came back.  "You run like a freakin' girl."

"I am a girl, in case you didn't notice.  Oh yeah, you probably didn't.  You were too busy screwing random guys to pay attention to your family."

"At least some guys _want_ to touch me, where as with you, they have to take flea baths after coming in contact with you."

Jan's temper was rising again, but before she could strike her older sister, a car pulled up in front of their house.

"Bye, Jan.  I will think of you as I make out with pause what ever this guy's name is."

Jan ran inside as Marcia sauntered towards the car.

"Where'd you go, Jan?"

Mrs. Brady could always ignore Marcia leaving, but not Jan.  "No where, Mom.  Marcia just left to screw a random guy, though!"

"What was that, Jan?" asked Mrs. Brady in an oblivious tone.

"Nevermind, I'm going to bed."

"I'm sorry, dear."

The next story will be continued with Marcia.


End file.
